Are Murmurations Worth it?


Are Murmurations Worth it?
Are they though?
Are they really though?

Only I’ve got a Rustler’s burger
and a can of Monster
and Celebrity Gogglebox is on.
And I’m watching a video in which
a man unboxes a box and I’m hoping there might be a another box inside the box
They’ve got plugs on trains now
and I’ve got a special battery. So it never has to stop.
Like. Share. Like. Share. Share. Like. Like. Like.
I’ve got Bombay Badboy down my top
Gazing at my own naval’s a bit highbrow
so I just stare at my own hairless bollocks.
I’m gonna turn all the taps on, something
to do, innit. God, I’m busy. I’m so busy.
I need to get a new thing. I dunno what.
Something. I need something. Pass me
Amazon. What’s on sale? What’s good?
Are murmurations worth it though?
Are they though?
Really? Only, Piers Morgan’s
joined The Sun and I’m flat out
“holding onto my screen.”

What if it gives me a feeling? What if it’s
like something I’ve not had before

What if they soar hundreds of feet into the air,
turn this way and that like a vast black kite, a billowing
sail, a living lung that expands and contracts
in the dying sun, then dive-bomb the marsh
and cut through me like first love, like loss.


And I’ve got to
take a photo through his Aperol Spitz
and type ‘The Boy Done Good”
40,000 times or that independent cafe
won’t go bust. Terrible service. Waitress was fat.
Seriously though, mate Peaky Blinders, mate.
No, I’m an aromantic
pansexual actually. It means I love nothing
but I fuck everything. I’m gonna take a picture of that
and send it to myself. But are they really though?
Actually WORTH it? Only I’ve got mental health
and I’m off to Turkey for some new tits.
And these pyjamas double as a three piece suit
so I don’t have to get dressed Every. Fucking. Morning. .
Shut up, I’m drinking my breakfast. Careful of my sunnies
they’ve got a whole computer in them that films
all the nothing that I do. Months and months and months
and months of nothing.

What if it gives me a feeling? What if it’s
like something I’ve not seen before

What if they soar hundreds of feet into the air,
turn this way and that like a vast black kite, a billowing
sail, a living lung that expands and contracts
in the dying sun, then dive-bomb the marsh
and cut through me like first love, like loss.


Anyway, it’s all on my stories
didn’t you see it? I tagged ya. I’ve built an exact replica
of my house on Minecraft and this weekend
I’ve got to tidy it and then tidy my actual house,
so are they worth it? Really actually, really worth it?
What will it be? What will actually be? Is there an app?
Can’t you just film it? What if it’s triggering? What if it’s
transphobic? What if the birds inadvertently spell out:
“I agree with Suzanne Moore” Will someone
cancel me? Is that worth it? Will there be a smell?
What if a tree give me COVID? Is it even
vegan? Can we monetise it in some way?
Ok, I’m only coming if I can be IN
the murmuration. Like at the front of the murmuration.
like I’m the main one. Otherwise the birds are just
gatekeepers. Fascists gatekeepers.

What if it gives me a feeling? What if it’s
like something I’ve not seen before

What if they soar hundreds of feet into the air,
turn this way and that like a vast black kite, a billowing
sail, a living lung that expands and contracts
in the dying sun, then dive-bomb the marsh
and cut through me like first love, like loss.